When Kalki Koechlin did a teleshopping ad for a hot-pink exercise machine

Last week, a Princeton professor’s resume of rejections went viral with twitterati embracing it as ‘inspiring’ and ‘brilliant’. The idea, he said, was to put life’s failures in perspective so they don’t overwhelm us. TOI asked actress Kalki Koechlin to draft her own bio-data of bad times.
Failed audition after audition
2003-06: While I was studying drama and theatre at Goldsmiths, University of London, I did audition after audition.There was little work and almost no money. So I took to waitressing at Café Rouge. At one point I was selling popcorn in a cinema. With little money to afford rent or good food, my meals consisted primarily of junk food. So I also put on around 10kg. My parents were so worried about my career they suggested I do a backup course in writing.
Did an ad for a hot-pink exercise machine
2007-08: When I came back to India, I lived off my brother at his Bengaluru house for a while. I took up odd jobs to afford rent. That’s when I happened to do one of those embarrassing Teleshopping ads. It was 20 minutes of an excruciating sales pitch for a hot-pink exercise machine. What’s worse, after Dev D made my face recognizable, the ad was re-released. My friends couldn’t stop laughing, but it had paid two months of rent.
My own emotional atyachar
2009: After Dev D’s success, I assumed I would get some interesting roles. But the film had typecast me. Most of the film roles I got were those of a prostitute. I didn’t do any work for one and a half years, and went back to theatre. I even wrote a play on unemployment with another actor and we cast ourselves in it. What’s worse, my next film, Emotional Atyachar, lasted on screens for like three days. I remember thinking I would never get a good film again.
I switched my phone off after Shanghai
2012: Shanghai was one of my favourite films. I felt the script was very powerful and I put a lot of heart into my performance. It was even one of Emraan’s best performances. But the film didn’t do well and I was so disheartened I switched my phone off for three weeks and went off all social media. I remember doubting my own judgment. I don’t regret the film now — it meant a lot to me.